


Find me

by ThePinkFox



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Keith (Voltron), Klancetober 2017, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-01 20:19:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12712245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePinkFox/pseuds/ThePinkFox
Summary: 2 guys who share the same fate,finding each other and be happy. At least that was the plan..What there are some problems that prevent them from meeting?





	1. Chapter 1

Stupid.   
That is what I am, stupid for thinking I could find you,   
Stupid for thinking that you would find me.   
Stupid for falling for someone so far out of my reach. 

You are nothing more than an illusion,   
I thought I had for once in my life a person who would love me for who I am,

A person who I could trust,   
But I should have known, that you were too good to excist.

I wanted to build up a life with you, live it to the fullest,

But I forgot a few things.

The people around me, who love me, who cared for me and I left them one for one, just so I could be with you.

But like I said, you were only an illusion

And now I woke up.

Alone. 

It all started when I saw you for the first time, your eyes locked in mine and for the first time I saw colours, an ocean of colours where I drowned in. Stars around your iris, those who light up when you laugh.

A sky full of freckles that were spread across your cheeks and nose, I've always loved the stars, but then I saw the constellations of your freckles, I became obsessed...

A smile where people would kill for to, full of excitement, joy, one that lightens up the room even at their darkest moments. I wanted to feel how those lips felt on mine, hoping that the day would come where I could do that.

Strands and bangs of dark golden-brown hair that always found a way to lay in the most ridiculous and impossible directions ever, still it made you look even more beautiful than you already were.

I loved everything about you, I worshipped you.

You looked me in the eye and said my name, at least... I think you said it, cause no matter how hard I concentrate, I can't hear your voice. All I could do was stare in awe. I saw your mouth form another sentence and I knew it was a question.

I was awkward, shy and anxious, not knowing what the question was, I knew that if I said something it would probably be the wrong answer. 

You laughed at my silence and all my worries vanished, I forgot how to breath from the moment I saw how your nose wrinkled in the action. The only thing was, I could see you but I never heard your laugh.

However, I noticed that I also was laughing, for the first time I was laughing and it wasn't a fake one, all because of you.

You made the first move and lend me your hand, I panicked, was I sweating? Was I shaking? I felt like I was another teenage girl with a crush and to be honest? It didn't matter, I was with you.

I hesitated but took your hand anyway, you looked at me in surprise and maybe, maybe I had read the air wrong? When I wanted to let go of your hand and I tried, I really did, but moving was impossible.

Every vein in my body ached and wanted to stay as close to you as possible. Our fingers entwined and butterflies were all I could feel.

We walked for what felt like forever, just you and I against the world. When the sun began to settle and stars began to sneak up on her, we nestled ourselves in the cold sand of the beach that was already empty. 

So here we were, watching together how the sun disappears in the ocean while a soft breeze ruffled trough your hair, for some reason I was jealous of the wind. It was closer to you than I was right now and even when I wake up, the wind would always reach you, touch your skin, when I don't even know if I will ever be able to find you.

We saw the sky change colours, it made me think; is this how a collaboration looks like from all the brilliant painter's through our existence for the last time? It was beautiful,

But nothing compared to you.

You moved closer until there was no space between us, our hands still folded as one. It felt safe, assuring. You pulled me closer, placing your arm in my neck. I could smell your cologne and it became my favourite scent.

Minutes passed, maybe even hours, but we were timeless. Nothing compared to this feeling I was feeling now. However, everything wonderful needs to ends to make room for another thing.

My eyelids began to feel heavy, not wanting to close them for even one second, I fought the urge to blink. I kept looking at all your beautiful features, not missing one small detail of them. I wanted this to last longer. I wanted to stay awake, though I knew that it was no use to try to fight it. The longer I delayed the urge to fall asleep the harder it became to stay awake.

In defeat I nuzzled my nose is the crook of you neck, taking a last breath and closed my eyes. 

 

I never even caught your name. 

I woke up from my alarm,

Confused due the dream I had I pressed the snooze button, there was no rush today. I kept lying in bed, rethinking the whole experience. His eyes, his smile, the colour of his smoot sun kissed skin and the way his hand fits mine perfectly. All the things that haunted my dreams and daydreams since the day I turned 21.

These things were seen as normal, you see. When you turn 21 you get these visions, dreams about your soulmate. They give you permission to see and hear your significant other, getting to know them and or even plan a meet up in the real world.

Millions of people found their soulmate directly after their first dream, it is possible that you already know that that one guy in the mall you think is cute is actually your soulmate, or that girl that loved your make up on the day of prom is the one you have been looking for your whole life.

Then you have the million people who live in a different country or state and are able to see each other due their conversations in their dreams. They name a place and date and the rest is history. 

At last, there is me. You could say I'm broken. For some unknown reason I'm not able to hear my soulmate. Or at least I don't remember a thing they say in my dream. They did tests on me, tried to find what was wrong with me, but all the questions that I had stayed unanswered and soon they gave up.

So, I know that that guy is my soulmate, but I also know that there is a big chance I will never meet him besides in the dream realm.

The only theory I could think of is no longer on the table. I had a hard time growing up, I pushed people away, I hurt them.it would be possible that my consciousness pushes this away, scared of being hurt or being tied to another living being. But that is no longer me. I'm no longer the angsty, antisocial teenager I was a few years back. So, why can't I hear his voice?

What is the reason behind this error?

Is he rejecting me? Is he scared?

I didn't want to think any further than that and was send back to reality due my alarm that went off for the second time this day. I rubbed my eyes and tired I grabbed my phone that laid next to me on the nightstand.

The light coming from it hurt my eyes, yet I opened the groups chat when I daw the notification. I scrolled through all the weird inside jokes and ignored all the questions about the upcoming class reunion.

Most of the question went like this; "Can I take my soulmate with me?" Or "Who is in charge of food?" And of course, "Something came up, can we delay the reunion?" No Susan. This is the third time this happened, just say it if you don't want to see us! What do I even care it's not like I want to see them. 

I never really hated school nor loved it, I guess I was kind of... Just there? All the things that made me stand out I avoided. I prefer it if someone else grabs the spotlight.

Since there was nothing else to do I stretched a bit and rolled out of bed. Groaning I got up and grabbed a red tank top that I had found on my char and stumbled to the kitchen.

First, coffee. Looking for my mug I heard another person entering the kitchen. Silver hair, as pretty as it may seem. I think a yeti would look more attractive right now. Slow blinking, she looked at me.

"What are you looking at?" I shrugged, "Nothing, just making coffee."

She stayed silent for a few seconds, progressing what I just said. "make some for me too?" She asked.

I turned and pressed the buttons. "Seriously what happened to our 'always insta beauty Allura'?" I said making sure it sounded as innocent as possible.

She shot a glare at me. "She's dead. My brush is missing and I had nothing else to fix this." She gestured with one hand to her hair.

I went to the other part of the kitchen grabbing the sugar for my coffee, as I turned I saw the unimaginable happen. "HEY-" Allura had grabbed my mug and grinned like a madman.

This however changed when she took a sip.

She yelped "FUCK THAT'S HOT!" As she ran to the sink and fill her mouth with cold water. At least she was awake now. I walked over to the table and reclaimed my coffee and look at the tanned girl who was running to the fridge in search for something that could help her. A normal morning in this apartment.

Wouldn't it be way easier if she was my soulmate? She was kind, confident, pretty and she could knock out a guy with one simple move. She has always been in my reach, helped me when I needed someone. But fate is a prick and I can't seem to have pretty things in life, noo, because that would be too easy. Fate is like "Oh boy, I'mma give ya a soulmate, but honey, you ain't get to meet him, you know why? I will not allow you to hear his voice. Anyway... have fun dying alone!"

I heard a huff in the doorframe. "God, what happened here?" A voice spoke up, trying to sound at least a bit concerning. Allura glared at them for a second before drinking more milk, sending them a telepathic message to drop the question before she will kill them.

"Good morning Shiro, Matt. A wonderful day isn't it?" I said taking another sip while grinning. Both of them smiled in return. 

"Tried to steal your mug, but forgot that coffee is hot again?" Matt asked. 

"That's what she gets, stealing my coffee like a freaking raccoon." I glared again, at her. The girl only showed her burned tongue.

That were the people I live with. It was quite hectic at some days. A broody young abdult, a woman that had more followers than some famous people on Instagram and Tumblr and two soulmates, who were so cute that it makes me sick.

It happened only a few months ago, we were living here with Allura, Shiro and I. as normal we jogged that fateful morning. As Shiro crossed the road he bumped into someone. Both Allura and I kept jogging until we saw that he was no longer with us. The poor guy was tackled by another guy and was now laying on the ground with that other person, so they just laid there on top of each other staring. Curious as we were we jogged back to take a look.

Those idiots were laughing on the ground in the middle of the road while drivers got annoyed and almost ran them over with their car. They took the hint and stood up. Still we didn't know what the hell was happening here, so we pretty much were in shock when Shiro said: "Sooo, this is my soulmate." As if it was no big deal.

We stopped jogging for that day and went to a nearby café to get to know each other. Apparently, Matt his car broke down that morning so he had to walk to work. A few weeks later he moved to our apartment.

Sometimes I envy them. On their age and already know and live with their soulmate. They looked so happy together, they could finally hold their significant other. While I probably never will meet my soulmate besides in the dream realm, let alone hold them and wake up next to him every morning like they are doing now?

~POV Lance~

It was cold, dark. I was again alone in a forest I've never seen before. Leaves followed the wind's direction and cracked as I walked over them trying to find my way out this forest. Branches broke and I froze in place. Slowly as if it was a matter on life or death I turned around, meeting with you.

I lost my ability to breath as I lock eyes with your violet ones. The rest of your features remains unknown as you stand there in the shadows. Far away from the bit of moonlight that finds their way through the trees. I don't know why you never come closer, why you never take a step in the light. You're hiding and the reason behind it is a question that I'm not able to answer. I'm drawn to you like a moth to a flame.

I begin to step closer, trying to close the distance between us. I want to meet you, hold you, cherish you with all my might, but every step I take the further I get from you. I want to call you out but I don't know your name. The stand of the moon changes and I hope I'll be able to see more of you, yet only your eyes are visible. I wished you would stop hiding and surrender.

I know I should give up to that thought, because I know that will never happen. But the desire to hold you stays, I need to know who you are, I need to find you. If you only would let me.

When the light should have reached your face, you turn away, disappearing in the shadow once more. I fall to my knees as I hear you calling my name, begging me to come find you. Over and over you keep whispering my name in the low voice that quickly became my favourite sound.

I open my mouth, screaming, asking what I should do, apologizing that I'm not able to do anything. I was lost, no leads or strings that gave me a hint. I beg you to step in the light, but there is no other response but my name and the same questions. 

Eventually our voices went silent, and I was left in the dark. I looked around, hoping to see your eyes again, I know that you're out there... somewhere. Even if I don't see you, I know that you won’t leave me. 

Out of nowhere I hear footsteps, filled with determination I followed the sound of breaking branches. I saw a dark figure in the distance, I can't really make something out of it but I'm confident that it is you. I follow you seeing a light in the distance. As fast as you appeared you vanished. 

I kept running towards a light. In the light I saw a tree, a name carved in it. The light was enough to make out what was carved there. With my fingertips I traced every letter.

"Keith."

I nestled me against the tree you had marked as your own. As if you knew that my eyelids began to feel heavy you started to sing a lullaby, making it harder for me to stay awake. I don't want to leave, not yet. This is a goodbye and I hate it.

Fighting the urge to close my eyes I kept rereading your name over and over. Listening to your voice calmed me down and made me forget all my worries. I drifted off to sleep, painfully reminded that I I know only your eyes, voice and a too common name. 

Will there ever be a day where I can see you? 

I woke up grasping for air, eyes wide and terrible bed hair. The sun burned in my eyes and I needed to squint my eyes to see. I saw the room that I shared with my younger brother Luke. The room was empty aside of the zillion posters on the wall and our beds. 

I recalled the dream I had and grumbled in annoyance. I didn't have the strength to wake up nor the willpower. Even though I need to. I wanted to stay here and forget about the world. So that was what I did.

Until someone had to ruin those plans by jumping on my stomach, I gasped at the action, immediately reminded in a horrible way that I needed to breath to stay alive...

My eyes were met with ones that looked like mine, light blue with a hint of yellow. Long brown wavy hair that covered one of her eyes. "C'mon, ya need to wake up little brother of mine." I narrowed my eyes at her by the way she spoke to me. "mom need your help in the kitchen."

"Liiiiiiivvv!" I whined "Can't breathe... too heavy." I try to push her of me but the lack of oxygen and the fact that I my arm fell asleep didn't help me succeed.  "And you're only 7 minutes older."

She crawled off me and let out a huff, "I'm not heavy." She pouted. Then she turned back to me "Anyway, if you don't come out of bed in the next 2 minutes mom will come and trow you out of it." And then she left the room.

First, I took a deep breath, then I grunted as I got out of bed, feeling how cold it was in the room when you're only wearing boxers. I picked some clothes and changed before going downstairs.

"So, with what do I need to help?" I asked my mother, scratching the back of my head. She turned to me smiling as always. 

"Good morning, Lance." She pointed at the corner of the kitchen. "would you be a darling and place those boxes in the van? If it is too heavy ask Lea or Luke to help you." Then she turned to counter and filled yet another box with utilises and other stuff. "Sure mom."

I walked over to the boxes who had written all over them 'KITCHEN' and picked one of them up. They were not that heavy but help was always welcome. Though I knew that the others would probably be busy with other boxes I didn't ask for help. 

I passed the Livingroom where only the couch was still present, then the hall that felt unfamiliar without all the family pictures on the wall. Everything was so empty, it didn't feel like home, I mean in the next few hours it won't be longer ours.

\-----

"That was the last one!" I cheered happily after dropping the last box in the moving truck. I went back inside to the kitchen looking for my mother. Every little thing that made people think people would live here was no longer there. Only the furniture that was too big or not important enough. The building that we once called our home looked nothing more than an empty shell made of brick.

I felt a hand on my shoulder followed by a head resting on it. "I'm going to miss this place." 

"You're not the only one." I said in response, looking at my room. Everything was gone except the posters. It was no use to try to take them with us, they would only get destroyed in the process of trying to get them of the wall. There were so many memories made in this room.

"You guys ready?!" We heard Lea shout from the front door.

"We need to get going if we want to be there before 4PM!" Our mother added. "It's a long trip so I hope no one needs to pee!"

I looked at Liv and saw she shared the same thought. We nodded and raced to the front door.

"SHOTGUN!" I shouted when I almost bumped into the wall while taking a sharp turn. Liv took the lead and reached the other family members first. She looked over at me and gave me this mischievous smile, letting me know that I lost to a girl in high heels and a dress. There goes my ego...

"Too late Lance! The font seat is already claimed by moi~" Luke said gesturing to himself using his thumb. As if that wasn't enough he started sticking out his tongue. I just wanted to grab him right here and know and claim that seat.

However, that isn't possible due the fact that our mom was with us in the hall. Then there was another thing that held me back from doing something, literally. Liv had taken my hand to keep me there so I couldn't reach him.

When I turned to meet her eyes and to ask her to 'kindly fuck off' she smirked at me. She had a plan and this was going to be good.

"Mom, I think I left my charger in the living room, can you please check while I make sure these two get in the car?" She asked on an innocent tone.

"I'll take a look, but you need to be more careful, we won't come back." And she left. Both of us started to smirk and drive Luke in a corner.

Liv grabbed him from behind, leaving him unable to move with his arms, while I ruffled with my knuckles trough his hair. He groaned in pain but wouldn't surrender. Damn these Mcclains and their ego. 

He still tried to break free, but his thirteen years old body was no match against the two young adults. The only one who could make an end to his suffering was now not in the room, at least that was what we thought...

"AUCH!! MOM?!" Both of us hissed in pain as we felt that someone pulling our ear. "THAT HURTS!"

Luke snickered and ran towards the car, claiming the seat as his fort that trip. That dipshit...

"LIV AND LANCE MCCLAIN! YOU4RE BOTH 21 ADULTS, SO ACT LIKE ONE!" 

"Sorry, mom..." We murmured, looking at her. She let out a sigh and returned to her happy self and let go of our ears.

"Now! Are we ready to leave this place?" She said clapping once in her hands. 

Me: sooo, that's it for this chapter! Hope y'all liked it! But I needed to share some more info with you guys:

Luke: 13  
Lea: 16  
Lance and Liv: 21 (they are twins)  
Leon: 25


	2. stories aren't what they seem to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back, Back again~~~with a new chapter!  
> enjoy reading!

Once more I'm alone. Only this time I was abandoned in the middle of a street I don't remember walking in. The few street lanterns were the only light sources available, which didn't help much. It was enough to recognize a couple of features that the buildings had.   
   
I saw the inside of what seemed to be a baker, the different kinds of bread that were sorted in baskets, the name was not readable in the dark. As I walked further down the street, hoping to find a map. As I reached the end of the street I was met with a large building surrounded by a fence. I couldn't make out what the purpose was for the building, or I didn't care since my attention was somewhere else.   
   
A light, I walked to it but was held back by the steel fence, as a warning not to come closer. I didn't know that I was staring until my eyes stung due the fact I didn't blink.  I could see the bright red walls, covered by what I only assume were photo's. They were too far away to see what was on it.   
   
For the first time I didn't hear your voice, nor I saw your eyes in the dark. I was in your element, the shadows. It felt weird to not feel your presence, I felt... lonely? Even without knowing your face I longed for you. You have me wrapped around your finger.   
   
I'm lost in a labyrinth made by you, which I can only escape by meeting you.   
   
The cold breeze made his way through my hair. I heard footsteps behind me, yet when I turned around there was no shadow in sight. I kept looking in the distance, hoping for you to show up, making me feel more secure.   
   
The light went out.  now there was no light coming from the building.   
   
It was weird not hearing your voice, it made me anxious, helpless and unsure. Maybe something had happened to you in the real world. What if you're not longer here? What if I was categorized as broken because I lost my soulmate before meeting him? The million questions kept coming, there was no use stopping them. Maybe he gave up on me.   
   
No. This can't be, otherwise what was the point of this dream?   
   
I turned back to the building, I tried shouting. In the hope to get the attention of the person in the bright red room. Besides my voice there was no other sound. The feeling of defeat made me close my mouth.   
   
Until footsteps disrupted the silence again, thinking it was you I turned around, looking for those mysterious violet eyes in the dark. However, you were nowhere to be found. Desperate for your voice that always seemed to calm me down I fell to my knees.   
   
The sound of footstep came closer and closer. I stood up and even though I know that no one is able to see me except from you I run. I feel my heart starting to beat faster and faster, the adrenaline flowing through my body. Branches broke and fallen leaves left a sound that would haunt me for the rest of the day.   
   
I looked for a way to get in, behind the fence I would be save, right? I look behind me again, the footsteps were quieter than first but still there.   
   
 Knowing that there was only a small chance that I would be followed, I tried climbing the fence. I needed to get there. Like, something was there that I needed, but I don't know what it is yet.   
   
As I fell again, I saw how that the last bit of light went out. One by one, all the lanterns' light went out, leaving nothing more but darkness. Fear got a hold of me and I was left unable to move.    
   
A sound of glass breaking.   
   
Somehow, I found the courage to stand up. I ran back to where I stood before. Meanwhile voices filled the empty night. Soon they got replaced by screams.   
   
So many screams...   
   
I ran faster, almost falling when I turned. The screams got louder, more desperate, sending shivers down my spine. As I got to the entrance I saw light coming from the house.    
   
Warmth.   
   
This was no light.   
   
Half the building was on fire, I shouted, shaking the fence in the hope that the other people would wake up and find safety. I shouted, screamed until smoke got to my lungs. I grabbed my neck, coughing.   
   
I wanted to warn them...   
   
The fire kept spreading, I was trembling, tears forming in my eyes as I keep shouting in the air towards the street that was now filled with people. I ran towards them, grabbing them by the shoulders and shaking them, but they didn't seem to notice my presence and kept staring at the building.   
   
It was a matter of time before the screams died.   
   
I ran back to the entrance when I saw a woman running out the building, her nightgown burned at one side and wounds that covered her whole left arm.    
   
A crying child on her back accompanied by a burned stuffed animal. Both of them fell to the ground in exhaustion.   
   
I grabbed the fence one more, yelling at the people on the street to call an ambulance. Why does no one seem to see those people?   
   
A hot breath in my neck made me shut up. Even if I wanted to move, I couldn't. I was paralyzed. A hand made his way to my face and stroked my cheek. I felt how this unknown person came even closer to my ear.   
   
"You shouldn't have come here."   
   
   
"KEITH!" I woke up, panting and grasping for air. Unaware of my surroundings I looked around. I was still in the car with my family.   
   
"JESUS! LANCE! Do you want to get us killed?" My mother screeched.    
   
"sorry..." To be honest, I wasn't. Normally, these dreams should fill you with happiness and were peaceful, they should not give you the 'how does it feels to be in a horror movie,' vibes. I don't even know what the point was of this dream!   
   
I didn't get to see my soulmate, or what I normally see of him.   
   
I didn't get to hear his soothing voice, oh hell no! All I got was some person whispering and scaring the shit out of me! God, I love my life.   
   
I was used to the idea that my dreams aren't as lovey dovely as with some people, but this was way over the line. Why is fate so cruel?    
   
"another soulmate dream?" Liv asked, nudging my side. She was the only one who was actuallly interested in those dreams. Maybe it was because she, herself doesn't have one, maybe it was because she was genuinely concerned about me. Either way I appreciate it.   
   
"if that is what you can call it."    
   
I keep repeating the same sentence, over and over. "you shouldn't' have come here, you shouldn't have come here."  the way their hand touched my cheek, I could recall every small detail. The one thing that I didn't want.   
   
It couldn't have been Keith, right? He would never do that. Or would he? In the end I still don't know anything about him.   
   
"Lance! Look!" Lea said, tapping the glass. It seemed like we finally arrived. Did I really sleep for that long?   
   
I looked outside and looked at a building, painted grey with white accents around the windows and a wooden door, on the first floor (for the American readers: second floor.) there was a small balcony.   
   
Honestly, I didn't see the purpose of that, it is not like we have a view or anything. Still, overal the house looked beautiful, even though it was way too big, even for our family.   
   
I imprinted every little detail of the house until I saw people running inside.   
   
"First one in the room, claims the room!" Liv yelled.    
   
I ran as fast as I could, like hell I would have the smallest room, not this time. "GET OUT OF MY WAY!!" I screamed, pushing them to the side as I ran to the first floor.    
   
"NOT FAIR! YOUR LEGS ARE LIKE TWICE MINE!" I heard Luke shout as run past him. Laughing like a maniac I open all the doors, looking for which room was the biggest.   
   
The room with the balcony it is! I let myself fall down in the middle of the empty room, grasping for air. "I-I winn!" I laughed, sticking one arm in the air.    
   
The second sibling that had claimed a room was Lea, she took the room next to the stairs. third was Liv, who picked not the room with most space but the room with their own bathroom, which was also the room next to mine. And last was Luke, he got the room over Lea, it was still big, but there was still a big difference.   
   
"ALRIGHT, now that you all have had your mini war, can you guys help with the boxes?" We heard mom yelling from the ground floor.   
   
I guess this is it? A new town, new start.   
   
~POV Keith~   
Sketching my soulmate began to be part of my routine. I would have a dream, stare at him, fall asleep in his arms, wake up and draw how he looked like.   
   
I wanted to make sure that I wouldn't forget his appearance, his cute freckles, his small fine nose, the way his eyes sparkle when he laughs.    
   
You never know when I might walk past him in public. That made me think, what if I actually already saw my soulmate down the street but didn't recognize him? Or worse, what if he saw me first and decided that I wasn't who he hoped for and moved away?   
   
a million thoughts came to mind and I didn't want any of them. I closed my eyes shut, taking in deep breaths. 'happy thoughts Keith, think about kittens, books, food, yes. Think about Hunk's cookies!' He thought by himself.   
   
Lost in thought I didn't notice when Clara walked in the room.   
   
"Keith." Brought back to reality I looked up from my sketchbook. "it is 9pm, will you help me with the kids?" The older woman said as I redid my ponytail. "they are determined to see you first."   
   
"sure, I'll be there in a minute." I put away my sketchbook, stretched a bit and got up from the chair. I followed the woman to the hall where my attention went to the wall.   
   
A wall who was covered in portraits of children, young and old. Eyeing every single one of them, saying the name that belonged to the face in my mind.    
   
I never lost one of them, imprinted in my mind. Each and every last one of them.    
   
I remember every time they yelled my name, how their voices sounded, the way how they laughed as we played together, their crying faces when they felt alone and sad.   
   
Call it a curse, I don't care. I made a promise to remember them and I'm not going to break that promise.   
   
As we reached the end of the hall I focused of the strands of grey hair that had escaped her bun. Everything to distract me from the last portrait on my left. We entered the room.   
   
"KEITH!!!!" I was greeted by a handful of children cheering out my name. I cracked a smile.   
   
"Well hello, my monsters." I settle myself on the end of one of the children their beds. "I heard that you guys refuse to sleep."   
   
The room filled with giggles and responses like "nope!", "never!" And "sleep is for the weak!".    
   
"Then what about a bedtime story?" I looked around, seeing how each and every one voices went silent and were replaced by gigantic smiles.   
   
"Tell us about your soulmate!" The blond girls with glasses yelled excited.   
   
"Yeah!" Another girl joined.   
   
"We love those!" The boy on whose bed Keith sat said. "Pleeeaaassseeee?" They all said in union.   
   
In defeat I clapped in my hands. "Soulmate it is then, but you guys need to promise me that you'll try to sleep afterwards, do we have a deal?"   
   
"Maybe..." The guys said while the girls nodded. "but first, you guys need to be tugged in properly." I said while pulled the sheets over the children, only leaving their head not covered.   
   
I made myself comfy again, grabbing one of the chairs that was present in the room for some unknown reason. "Allright, how do I start? Oh right, before we start the story. This one is from a week ago so it is possible that I won't know every little detail, okay?"   
   
The children nodded in acknowledgment.   
   
"So, I woke up in the middle of this town, I remember that it was hot there and there was only music. I was confused about my whereabouts and started walking. Maybe if I was lucky I could find a map or something. After minutes of walking through these unknown streets and alleys I came to conclusion I was lost."   
   
"What did you do then?" The boy with short blond hair spoke up.   
   
"shhhh, otherwise we will never find out!" The girl next to him whispered rather loudly.   
   
I laughed at the kids who were know fighting and waited until they calmed down before continuing the story.   
   
"Alright, I told you that there was only music, right?" They all nodded "Good, I was drawn to it, it almost felt like someone was calling my name over and over again. I decided that I needed to find the source of it. I began walking again, the sun vanished behind the numerous clouds and soon it began to cool down."   
   
"And then you met him, riiight?"   
   
"Shut up Lexi! Let him tell the story!"   
   
"sorry." The brunette girl apologized. "please, tell what happens next."   
   
"okay, okay. As I was walking, I noticed that the music became louder and clearer to me with every step I took. I couldn’t think about anything. The only thought that came to mind was the music and that I needed to find out where it was coming from and how it was calling me. You could say it felt like I was put under a spell."   
   
The room filled with small muffled chuckles because of my choice of words. Although, it was true what I said about being not able to think straight any longer, all that matters are finding your significant other.   
   
"As I said, I could only think about finding the source of this mysterious music. So, that was what I did. I looked for a place where the music was endless." I stopped for a second and took a sip of water.   
   
"Did you find it?" Lexi asked.   
   
"what did I find?" I asked her, putting the water bottle back on the little nightstand.   
   
"The place! With all the music!"    
   
"I found something that was even better." I answered her.   
   
"like, what was it then?" The boy in striped pyjamas asked, yawning in the process.   
   
"While I was walking, it started raining, softly, almost not noticeable. It actually was really pleasant to be walking in the rain for once, instead of staring at it from behind your window. Not only the weather changed but also the beat of the music, one that screamed 'happiness', it was weird how much of an impact this music had on me.   
   
It made me feel this feeling that I forgot how it felt like, since it was so long ago that I have felt this. A feeling of belonging, home." I smiled a sad smile.    
   
It was so long ago that I had felt like that. I was, no scrap that. I am happy and grateful, I really am. Still I can't help but thinking about how something feels … off. I know what it is and I accepted the fact that that would be the only thing that would always be out of reach.    
   
Something that is no longer here, cannot return. That is how life is. No matter how much I wish for it to be otherwise.   
   
"Keith?" A soft whispering voice brought me back to reality. It was Lizzie.   
   
I turned to her and smiled, easing her a bit. "yeah? Uhm, where was I?" I tried to change my train of thoughts.   
   
"oh, oh! I know! You said something like," he changed her facial expression from a happy one to an almost brooding one and tried to imitate the voice of batman, which was almost impossible due her natural high-pitched voice. "A feeling of belonging." The others laughed in response to the only slightly failed attempt of trying to sound like Keith or batman.   
   
I shook with my head, still laughing. When the laughing started to die I clapped in my hands to get their attention. "alright, calm down." and tugged the few strands of hair that were bothering me behind my ear.   
   
"so, feeling of belonging, right. I started running to places, listening to my hearth and hoping that I wouldn't get lost again. The further I ran the more of these shadow people started to pop up. I even bumped into one of them when I made a sharp turn, however they didn't give me any kind of reaction.   
   
The music got louder and I was sure I was almost there. Until... The music stopped.  there I was, standing in the rain, out of breath from running for who knows how long and utterly alone. Even the shadow people were no longer in sight."   
   
One of the children, a boy with short blond curls and freckles went to sit up straight, a look of disbelieve and disappointment on his cute face. "… he left you there?"   
   
"on the contrary Will. I met him there." A smile appeared on his face, meaning that he was satisfied with my answer, or the fact that my soulmate isn't an asshole I couldn't really tell.   
   
"Tell us more! Keeeiiitthhhh~" Lizzie whined.    
   
It was an adorable sight, which made this part even harder than it already was. I love telling them stories, about my soulmate. The only problem was:   
   
They didn't know about this 'error' I have.   
   
And they don't need to know, it would make them worry about me. While they should worry about their own life, I'm grown up now, I can help myself now. To ease their minds and hide this error I tell them about what I think he said.    
   
But I can't keep making these conversations up, they will start to notice when I can't tell details about him, as example; his name.    
   
The only one who does know-   
   
"alright, that would be enough for today, you all have to get proper rest." The older woman spoke up from the silence. She received lots of sighs and "nooooo, don't want to yet!". The stood up. "no, it is already way past bedtime, c'mon."   
   
"but Clara... they want to know the end of the story." I said in a childish tone while pouting.   
   
She tugged the last person in and turned to me. He hands found their way to my shoulders and made me turn towards the door. "Then you continue tomorrow. You need to go home too." Pushing me friendly the room out.   
   
Before I was out the door I heard the kids laugh. "Bye Keith!!"   
   
"see ya, monsters!" I shouted back, I was trying to hold in a laugh. Clara shook her head slightly, but she couldn't hide the smile that was on her face. Then she closed the door.   
   
When I was sure that none of the kids could hear us any longer I let out a sigh of relieve. "thanks..."   
   
She looked up, facing me. "For what?"   
   
"For saving my ass back there. I appreciate it..." I let out a chuckle. Though I didn't find it very funny.   
   
"You know, if you told them. You wouldn't have this problem and I wouldn't have to save your ass every time." There... there she had a point. And a very good one to be honest.   
   
"I... well I don't want them to be worried about me, they already have so much thing on their mind." I let out a sigh of frustration. "I don't want me to be the reason why they have even more worries."   
   
"I respect that Keith, but still. They deserve to know this. They look up to you, so if they would find out that you were lying all this time, wouldn't that hurt them even more?" I did not respond.   
   
I can't say "HEY! SURPRISE! I'VE BEEN LYING ALL THIS TIME! I CAN'T EVEN HEAR MY SOULMATE VOICE LOOOOOLLLL, GOT YOU!!" They would lose their trust in me. Or worse, they would be angry and ignore me...   
   
"anyway, did you find more out about this soulmate of yours?" She changed the subject, hoping to lighten the mood. I only shook my head.   
   
"no, still the same perfect guy which voice I can't hear, no matter how much I desire to hear his vocals, neither did I found out these places where we met. I only know that it was pretty warm and close to the ocean, at least I think?  To answer to that question: still the same problem equals no new info which means I have zero chances to meet my soulmate." I told her afterwards, slightly annoyed.   
   
When we passed a window, I looked through it. "great, just my luck... " I sighed at the rain outside. "Does god hate me?"    
   
"Keith. God doesn't hate anyone, that includes you too."    
   
We walked to the entrance and I went to grab my jacket... which when I look at now, doesn't have anything to shield me from the rain outside. What was wrong whit me when I chose this jacket that doesn't even reach to my bellybutton? Oh, I know, Lizzie... she was the one that loved this jacket and she wanted that I bought it since it looked 'so cool' on me.   
   
Clara probably noticed that I was staring she placed her hand on my shoulder. "you can always stay here for the night; your room is clean and I can find some clothes for you to wear." A gentle, but concerned expression was on her face. "that is if you want at least."   
   
I pushed her hand of my shoulder and returned a smile. "Maybe next time then."    
   
The older lady nodded understanding. "Promise that you will walk home? I don't want you to get in an accident if you slip due the rain." I debated in my head. With my bike it would only take 10 minutes to get home and if I walked home it would take 30 minutes. Even though I can ride like the best, an accident happens quick and I don't want to worry the only person I really have at the moment.   
   
"I will, I'll come back tomorrow to pick my bike up, is that alright for you?" I decided to agree with her. If I would disagree she probably wouldn't let me leave in the first place, no use in debating then.   
   
"IF it is not raining." I added before she could.   
   
"You're always welcomed here, you know that." As I reach for the doorknob Clara stopped me.   
   
"Let me give you an umbrella. It is the least I can do if I'm going to let you walk." She disappeared in a small room and came back with a dark purple wand blue umbrella. "Here you go." She handed it to me.   
   
I kissed her on the cheek and said goodbye, (idk if you guys do that or if it is this European thing we do.) and left the building.   
   
"Be careful!" She waved, still standing in the door opening.    
   
"I'm always careful!" I threw my free hand in the air.   
   
"No, you're not! Don't lie to me Kogaine, I didn't raise you like this!" She laughed disappearing behind the now closed door.   
   
I took a few steps backwards so that I could see the building as one piece. As I stood in the middle of the road I stared at the building. Every time I did this the memories would come back. Taunting me. Even if you can't see the evidence anymore, it was all I could see.   
   
And it will be all I ever see.   
   
Over   
   
And   
   
Over.   
   
I turned around and started walking, far away from this building I once called home.   
   
~POV Clara~   
From behind the curtain I looked out the window, looking at the boy, how he kept staring. I know it was hard for him to keep visiting and leaving this place, even if it hurts him. He keeps doing this, for the sake of the kids, the memories and for me.    
   
I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding when I saw how Keith began to walk and disappeared in the shadows of the streets. Actually... why would I be relieved if someone dissapears in the middle of the night in the shadows?   
   
Maybe I needed to make him stay.   
   
Still, I can't ask that of him.   
   
As I wanted to go to sleep myself, another guy on the streets peaked my interest. Who is crazy enough to go walking when it is raining outside?   
   
I thought about leaving him be, it is not really my responsibility to look after this kid anyway.   
   
That was my thought, until lighting made their appearance and thunder was heard. I grabbed my jacket and ran as fast as my knees would allow me to the door.   
   
After I opened the door, I saw that the guys seemed a bit lost, yet he was still running.   
   
"Young man!" I shouted, the unknown boy turned around, mostly confused by the fact a stranger was shouting at him. I opened the gate and made a gesture for him to come in.   
   
"It is not save out here while it is storming, you can wait inside until it is over." The guy gave me a warm smile and thanked me before following me inside the building.   
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've got a few questions in terms with these dreams. These are based on my own dreams, only a bit romanticised. Cuz I ain't in love, or have any experience including that...   
> Anywayyyy, my computer broke down and exams are starting 6 December (I haven't done shit to be honest...) but I'll try to write the next chapter as soon as possible (preferably before my birthday.)    
> Still, I can't promise anything! 
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: as you can see, I haven't uploaded the next chapter even though I've already written it. I'm planning to continue this story, but it might take a while before I get my life back on track.  
> My physical as well as my mental health are going downhill, and I'm sorry that this affects the story...  
> I don't expect that you all are going to understand this, but I at least hope that you will be patient :)
> 
> Bye, and hopefully soon!


End file.
